An Offshoot Timeline
by TEMMlE
Summary: On the quaint little meteor rocketing though paradox space, Karkat was minding his own business for once in his life. While he was there, he is asked to meet a not so very good friend of his by the name of Terezi, further down in said meteor. Through a series of unfortunate events, Karkat is left stranded in uncharted territory along with that friend. This can only mean the worst.
1. Part 1-Chapter 1

-The story opens up in the setting where the Trolls start to become accustomed to their new home, the meteor. Karkat lounges around, bored, and looks up at the blinking monitor before him-

 **====== WAKE**

"THE FUCK'S THAT NOISE?" you thought to yourself as a loud buzzing disturbs your slumber. You're not too mad though, at least SOMETHING is going on, on this bulge, choking meteor for once.

Rising up from your reclined position on the horn pile, you notice a fuzzy, flashing light in front of your face, assumed to be your crab-top's screen light poking through your dazed, near sedated vision. A sharp pain in your rear, accompanied by a muffled, but still audible, "HONK" identifies itself as a horn, that while you slept, firmly wedged itself up your-

 **====== CKECK MONITOR**

Hey, whats this? A new window has opened up on your crustacean themed computer and quickly presented itself as the source of the dreaded humming and barrage of flashes. Upon further investigation, you see the window has a display of pictures in a format similar to that of a hive window and has the word, "EARTH" displayed in broad text above everything.

"WHAT'S AN EARTH? AND WHAT'S THAT- OH MY GOG, WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THAT THING?"

Inspection of the largest image showed what looked to be a stupid, pale white, hornless troll with stupid, pointy black hair, adorned with stupid, square glasses and stupid, buck teeth, staring dumbly in the direction of yourself.

You go against your better judgement, that of which would be to do whatever was in your capabilities to contact this possibly fictional thing and insult the hell out of it, and instead try to do some strategic bullshit to try to find out about it first. Or, something like that you guess.

 **====== EDUCATE**

You opened up your web browser, thoughts hot in your mind, and set to work. This strategic bullshit isn't gonna shit itself.

After a quick perusal of the "EARTH" window, you found the name of the creature to be a "HUMAN" and used that to search on the web, but to your inconvenience, and confusion, the search came up empty! That's weird, you've never been let down by the internet before, the thing knows more than all the world put together! You decided to look back at the window from earlier.

Apparently your reading skills are shit, for the ~humans~ spawn from the atrocious universe that you were too deficient to successfully create, thus making it obvious that there would be no information to find, which raises the question of where the hell this window came from.

 **====== CLOSE POP-UP**

You try to close the confounding pop-up but to no one's surprise, fail to do so. Like it was that big a deal anyway.

 **====== READ ON**

Moving on from futility, you decided to read further into the cryptic text. Thankfully the pages provided a well detailed summary of the ~human's~ history by clicking a link below the sub-title, "HUMANS". Whoops, better make that a very well detailed, not-so-summarized tome of FIVE THOUSAND GRUB-FUCKING CHAPTERS OF SCHIZOPHRENIC BULLSHIT. Such a wonder of words prompts you to wonder if a spinning wheel of colors can cause mental handicaps.

It's been so long, so long that you could brag about it, and your face ever still the same expression: glance nuggets glazed, chompers wide, and full of shock. If only you could see yourself right now, oh how disappointed you would be.

 **====== CHECK CHAT CLIENT**

You just barely notice the alert for your Trollian chat client through your studying binge. It seems that your friend, Sollux has been messaging you.

 _ **twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling [CG]**_

 _ **TA: Hey KK, TZ told me that 2he need2 two 2how you 2omethiing 2he found**_

 _ **TA: 2he 2aiid 2hes 2omewhere down iin Lab 61-Level 2**_

 _ **TA: The one near**_ _ **the core that**_ _ **ii2**_

 _ **TA: Probably tryiing to make 2ome more of tho2e dragon puppet thiing2**_

 _ **TA: KK**_

 _ **TA: KK you there?**_

 _ **TA: Get the fuck on already**_

 _ **CG: HOLD YOUR FUCKING HOOFBEASTS DAMNIT**_

 _ **CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT**_

 _ **TA: II already told, TZ need2 you for 2ome 2hiit**_

 _ **CG: YES, YOU SAID THAT BUT IF THAT WAS ALL YOU NEEDED THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE CONTINUED TO TROLL ME. NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED**_

 _ **TA: Jegu2, alriight. II wanted two know what the fuck you're doiing over there. you got thii2 gro22 look on your face**_

 _ **CG: FUCK YOU AND YOUR FACE**_

 _ **CG: I'M LOOKING AT THIS THING ABOUT HUMANS**_

 _ **CG: AND IF YOU KNEW I WAS NEAR YOU THAN WHY DIDN'T YOU COME UP AND ASK ME ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF TYPING BACK AND FORTH**_

You look up an give him the finger.

 _ **TA: IIt's habbiit alriight.**_

 _ **TA: And wtf are human2**_

 _ **CG: THESE CREATURES THAT INHABIT THE DISEASED UNIVERSE WE CREATED**_

 _ **CG: THEY'RE ACTUALLY PRETTY FASCINATING REALLY**_

 _ **CG: THEY'RE SOME KIND OF SPECIES EVOLVED FROM YELLOW-FRUIT-EATING BEASTS. THEY COMMONLY LIVE IN LARGE QUANTITIES AND BUILD THEIR HIVES IN ALL KINDS OF FORMATS FROM SINGULAR, SMALL CLUSTERS, TO LARGE TOWERS FILLED WITH MANY HIVES, ALL OF WHICH RESIDE IN THESE REGIONAL "ZONES" SO TO SPEAK.**_

 _ **CG: THESE ZONES RANGE FROM THE PREVIOUSLY STATED RESIDENTIAL ZONES, TO COMMERCIAL ZONES, AND TO INDUSTRIAL ZONES. THE COMMERCIAL ZONES ARE AREAS THAT DISTRIBUTE GOODS, WHETHER IT BE TO INDIVIDUALS IN, "STORES" OR MASS QUANTITIES AND EVEN POPULATIONS THROUGH MASS MARKETING TECHNIQUES, AND THE INDUSTRIAL ZONES ARE THE ONES TO PRODUCE SAID GOODS AND UTILITIES SUCH AS WATER AND ELECTRICITY.**_

 _ **TA: 2hut up already KK, you earned your2elf a fuckiing gliiter biiscuiit 2o tell me about iit later. Now get off your lazy a22 and help TZ.**_

 _ **CG: SUCK A SEED FLAP YOU CHUMBUCKET FUCKER.**_

 _ **TA: DON'T YOU DARE BRIING UP THAT TIIME WIITH ED**_

 _ **CG: WHATEVER SHITSPONGE**_

 _ **carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]**_


	2. Part 1-Chapter 2

Dammit, that fucker is always on your nerves. How you ever learned to live with him, let alone tolerate his bullshit, was always a mystery.

 **====== CUT THE SHIT**

Alright, enough lollygagging, it's time to get down to business and see to whatever it is Terezi wants to do with you down there.

 **====== DESCEND**

You've already hated the main computer room (or douche bag central is what you proposed to call it) so of course when you found out early on that there was an entire fucking system of shitty computer labs and other weird shit on the meteor, each more twisted and just as disgusting than the last, then one can only imagine the rage, and quite possibly fear, you felt when Sollux asked you to go to the LAST FUCKING ONE ON THIS CLUSTER-FUCK OF A ROCK.

 **====== DESEND**

You, unwilling, comply to the notion and swiftly trudge straight into the murky depths below.

 **====== DUCK**

Of course, just to fuck up your miserable life just a tad over its already spilling, miserable contents, you straight up bonk into a low-hanging light fixture and end up tripping and then falling down the stairs. The _very_ , long stairs.

(A soft whisper can be heard echoing in the vast darkness of the meteor, "I warned you about the stairs bro..." Then complete silence, aside from Karkat painfully somehow crashing into every step on the stairs, and then eventually reaching the bottom of the stairwell, landing with a loud, "CRACK", as he landed)

 **====== GET UP**

After laying on the damp floor for a few minutes, you finally rise to your feet whilst rubbing your head and horns.

 **====== OBSERVE SURROUNDINGS**

You've decided to look around and observe your surroundings and you find a problem, the problem being that there aren't any. It is pitch black all around you and you can't see a fucking thing, it's so black that you can... smell it? Now that you think about it, the entire room smells like... burning licorice? What the fuck is going on!?

After stumbling around aimlessly, and a few stubbed toes, you found a dim light up ahead and decide to head towards it. You slowly adjust to your situation and find yourself walking along a corridor, not unlike the other hundred on this hunk of rock, and the light you saw turned out to be... well what do you know. A bowl filled with flaming red candy. What are the odds.

 **====== EXAMINE THE PECULIAR CANDY**

Regardless of the fiery sweets, you can tell that you're heading in the right direction. It's not really that hard to tell, seeing as Terezi would be the one damaged enough to burn candy, of all things, to mark their whereabouts out of your incompetent idiot team, though its not like some of them wouldn't burn things, it was just the candy that sealed the deal. What is that shit anyways? Licorice... hard candy? Absolutely disgusting.

 **====== CONTINUE ONWARD**

Going against your better judgement, you've come to the conclusion that the only way you're going to be able to make it the rest of the way is to take the bowl and use it as a torch. You carefully pick up the bowl, trying not to spill its contents in precaution of catching on fire and making sure to hold the bottom, you head onward into the darkness ahead. On any other condition, you would have been pretty scared but with the combination of burning candy, the pain in your horns, and your inner rage, you're just able to keep sane in this shit fest of a time.

 **====== TRY TO EAT A SWEET**

 _Hell no_

 **====== APPROACH ONCOMING LIGHT SOURCE**

Hmm, it seems theres another light up ahead, and you sure are happy to see it. You've had just about enough bullshit already and your ready to pass out by now. Just a few more steps an-

 _ ***SCREECH***_

 _Hell no_ **x2 COMBO**

You make sure to keenly high tail and ABSCOND THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.


	3. Part 1-Chapter 3

Keenly hightailing must not have been the best of your choices because you made it about two feet before tripping and spilling all of the candy out of the bowl into a particularly dank part of the floor, putting all of the candy out. This may have been good because it no longer smelled of shitty kindled candy candles, but now you had no light, were trapped in darkness, potentially in danger of what ever made that sound, and to top it all off, your horns hurt like hell.

 **====== ABSCOND**

As your father taught many sweeps ago, you scuttle along the ground, unable to stand right away, before stumbling to your feet. You're once again cut short of the much needed, "running" necessary to absconding, as you smack right into another wall. To your luck though, you finally find a light switch.

 **====== SWITCH SWITCH**

You reach for the switch and switch the switch, only to to find the switch didn't switch on the lights.

 **====== SWITCH SWITCH**

You desperately grope the wall for something else to find another lever and you quickly flip it. The lights finally flare up, although very anticlimactic, as it's very dim. Along the walls you see the words, "PLUMBING" and the wall is decorated in a series if piping. You look to a leak in the floor to a massive flow valve and see the puddle you dropped your bowl in. Look up to the colossal valve, you notice an abundance of rust that seem to be delaying a movement in the pipes of some sort. You hear the pipes groan under an increase of pressure. What ever the issue may or may not be, it seems that if something were to ever happen to this pipe valve, it wouldn't happen just yet.

Then a thought of concern briefly sets in as you wonder what the first switch might have done.

The thought quickly dissipates as you think to turn around to face your assailant. Well, you wouldn't call it your assailant since it hasn't really attac-

 **====== ASSES THREAT**

Finally turning towards your opponent's direction (Much to the readers relief) you attempt to set an outline on the threat, as well as bracing yourself for impact. Wait, impact?

 **====== DUCK**

Foolishly searching for the duck, you fail brace yourself and are assaulted by the flying Terezi that was speeding towards you earlier, viciously, and much expected, receiving a blow to the side, knocking you into the wall, on the switch, killing the power. So much work, gone instantly. If Terezi didn't kill you than you sure as hell are gonna kill her. Actually, would have killed her anyway.

 **====== GET** **UP**

You shake your legs, and to no avail. They do not respond.

 **====== GET UP**

A bitchy voice in your head persuades your legs to act on your behalf, at the cost of your sweet, sweet energy. Such easily swayed legs. You almost feel a sense of... disappointment?

Standing up, you see the luminous form of Terezi descend from the air, suspended by her shitty rocket-pack, shitty flame decals and all.

Her nook sucking grin stares you in the mouth, similar to how her eyes sorta settle in your general direction. It's hard to tell through her shades but you know that it could've mattered less due to her being blind. She, once on the ground, walks up to your slumped position against the wall, hips swaying in a sassy tone, as if to speak for her already busy mouth, due to its current state of grinning. The mouth finally finds some spare time and decides to talk to you.

"Did'ja get my present, karkles?"

"UNFORTUNATELY, YES. MORE FORTUNATELY FOR ME, I DROPPED IT IN A PUDDLE. ALSO, DON'T CALL ME THAT."

"I'm not surprised that even at that angle, your jaw still seems to spout the same amount of shit as always."

"HA HA, NOW WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU WANT, AND IT BETTER BE WORTH ME POSSIBLY BREAKING MANY OF MY BONES."

"You expect so much of me, Karkat! You know I wouldn't call you down here for something actually productive!" Her tone almost condescending. "I wanted you to come check out this room full of old science equipment and, in case my present hasn't proven obvious, weird ass candy."

You begin to fantasize a reality where the fall downstairs or the rocket-pack actually killed you. What a pleasant thought.

 **====== FOLLOW TZ**

Having finally gotten up, much to the discomfort of your ribs, you and Terezi stroll down the dark hallway. You occasionally trip or hit the wall before turning a corner. Sometimes, you wish you were blind so you could see.


	4. Part 1 -Chapter 4

**====== ASSESS SURROUNDINGS**

You look around. It's dark. So fucking dark. How many times must you think this. Every second you've spent down in the hell pit in the meteor has been spent in the dark. You would think it would be obvious that everywhere you went was gonna be spent, in the dark. Or slightly dim in the dying light of fiery sweets, but there is no way that could possibly happen aga-

 **====== TAKE PIECE OF CANDY**

What candy? You already dumped that shitty licorice on the ground? But, almost to coincidentally, you turn to left and see a room illuminated by ceiling lights, and thankfully, not burning candy. But what candy is there to take?

Continuing further down the hall and then subsequently into the room, you crane your neck upwards, eyes sore from strain of the darkness, and focus on the light and (not) to your surprise, again, realize that the light is not electrically induced, but rather the living, pulsating light of a fire. Fire on the ceiling? No. Just presented in a familiar crucible suspended by chains in the ceiling, fueled by what seemed to be...

...

 **====== TAKE A PIECE OF CANDY**

You can't even reach the candy at your height, let alone the fact that you don't fucking want to take a piece.

Getting over the designers horrible taste in home lighting equipment, your eyes scan the room; The walls appear to be covered in a plethora of bit a bobs with bells and whistles and dials and thimbles and buttons and... well, you get the idea. Accompanying virtually every gizmo on the shelves is a bag of candy, all in some way or form attached or connected to each device.

Reaching a hand to one of the contraptions, you gingerly pick it up, hoping it won't do... something? You honestly don't know what it would do, there seems to be no form of movement on the device other than you holding it in your hand. It appears to be a large marble, roughly the size of your fist, complete with an extra shiny surface on one side and, of course, a small bag of small, dog shaped, black candy that was taped to it almost an almost half-assed manner. The tape's edges were slightly peeled, almost as if someone had taken it of for the sake of the candy, but put it back on, like it wasn't ready yet. Why you think this, you don't know. The words "LICORICE SCOTTY DOGS" label the package.

 **====== TAKE A PIECE OF CANDY**

You think you've had just enough fucking candy for one day. Maybe even the rest of your life.

 **====== LOOK OUT**

What?

"Hey, watcha got there Karkat?", You hear Terezi say as she knocks the orb out of your hand. It falls ever so gently, gracefully descending to the floor in a slightly curved path from the abrasive blow, only to smash into the clawed hand of the, now properly labeled, assailant, stopping abruptly on its course to the ground below.

"I'D TELL YOU WHAT I THINK IT IS BUT NOW YOU HAVE IT, SO HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME", you respond harshly

"I don't know, check the label"

 **====== CHECK LABEL**

You suddenly feel like you're constantly being told what to do, even though it's usually what you intend to do anyways.

 **====== CHECK LABEL**  
 **====== PLEASE**

Feeling as though a pressure on your back has eased, you obediently check the label on the shelf. See, how hard was that? "MAGIC CUE BALL", you read aloud, "WHAT, IS LIKE SOME KIND OF DOWNGRADED MAGIC 8 BALL? HOW FUCKING ORIGINAL."

"Well, are you gonna shake it or not?"

"OF COURSE I'M GOING TO SHAKE IT, TEREZI. WHAT ELSE WOULD I FUCKING DO?"

 **====== SHAKE MAGIC CUE BALL**

You vigorously shake the ball in your hands. However, you realize that the entire ball is completely white, leaving no space for you to even see an answer. Well, that and you didn't even ask it a question, but that is no excuse for the cue ball to not give an answer. Though the orb almost seemed to have glowed, but if it had, it was very dim and only glowed for a second.

"IT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING"

"Of course it didn't you idiot, you never asked it a question."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER. THESE THINGS ARE FUCKING USELESS ANYWAY. ESPECIALLY NOW THAT IT DOESN'T EVEN GIVE ANSWERS." You attempt to throw the ball to the ground, but you're stopped short by Terezi.

"No, don't."

"WHY? IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S GONNA FUCKING DO ANYTHING."

"I know, it's just...", she pauses, "Please don't smash it, I'm pretty sure some bad happenings are going to get happened if you do that. More time line bullshit."

"FINE, WHATEVER. I'LL JUST GENTLY SET IT DOWN ON THIS PEDESTAL", you say as you gently set it down on the pillar next to you. Wait. That's not a pillar.

-as Karkat gently sets it down on the sendificator, a coordinate screen shows up on the monitor above, showing the Expatri8, and the cue ball is sent back to those exact coordinates.-

"Oh, so that explains where that came from."

"WHAT THE GRUB-FUCKING SHIT JUST HAPPENED?! AND WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?"

"Oh nothing, just knowing that once again, fuck ups in the future still seem to change the past."

You think to yell again but you hear a roar, no, more like the crashing of a wave.

 **====== HOLD BREATH**

You barely have time to move before a flood of water bursts through the door, knocking you down and filling the room, more water constantly flowing and rising. It's very discolored and you really hope it isn't sewage.

Now you know exactly what the first switch did, and now you have a deeper appreciation for the rust holding back the valve. Your appreciation dwindles as you realize the rust had still given way to the massive pressure of the plumbing and although it was inevitable, you still feel betrayed, resenting the rust for failing.


	5. Part 1 -Chapter 5

You are going to drown. Plain as it can be. You wish that you were on a plane far above any water source what so ever so that you wouldn't have to deal with any of this bullshit. A plane so fucking high that you're going to have to sit it down and give it a stern talking to about substance abuse, then send it to a rehabilitation center for drug addicts. You'll watch how the plane deals with its problem and learns to let it go, probably chew watermelon flavored gum to calm its urges, and see to it that this plane will someday get its life back together; The plane might find a nice Jet and settle down in a small flat in the country, maybe working at a local super market as a cashier, spending most of his free time at home raising its adopted, four year old helicopter, and it doesn't care if its child has propellers on its top or on its face, the plane's love for its child is unconditional.

 **====== STOP DROWNING**

Wow, sounds easier said than done.

 **====== ATTEMPT TO STOP DROWNING**

Much better, seeing as how attempting is more possible than just, well, stopping.

You quickly come to your senses to realize once again just how big of a pickle you're in right now, but this time you focus on getting out alive. You reach out your arms and try to find your orientation in this water slide of death and brush your hand against a tough, cement wall, realizing that you are now in a tunnel. You continue to flounder around and your natural buoyancy lifts you above the water. As soon as your head breaks free you begin to take breaths again and rub the water from your eyes. The tunnel is once again, you guessed it, dark but you can make out the soft glint of Terezi's crimson glasses below the water and she too rises above the water.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING NOW?!" she sputters out.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I KNOW?!"

"IT WAS RHETORICALLLLL-" she then gets sucked back beneath the current and then you sink as well shortly after. As you're pulled under, the rapids suddenly peak and you're whipped back and forth, each time smacking and scraping against the walls of the tunnel. The beatings increase in intensity the further you travel until the current pushes you the hardest it ever has before and you crash head first into the side. Everything goes black. The last sound you hear is a splash and a smack against the hard ground.

 **= GET UP**

When will the suffering end?

Your eyes crack open and the strong glare of incandescent light scorch your retinas. You can't make out just quite where you are, given that your eyes are adjusting to the sudden light after being in darkness for who knows how long. The first thing you notice though is the ground beneath you is slightly damp, but not flooded, meaning that you must have been here long enough for a lot of the water to dry up.

A light pap on your head rouses you from your stupor and you make your way to your feet. You feel energized after the long time you spent unconscious, about the only problem you have right now beside your burning corneas is the splitting pain in your skull from repeated head injuries. The base of your horns are bruised from every jolt you got and your third horn-

Wait. Oh jegus.

 **= CUP WELT**

You wish you hadn't even woken up. Your hands gently prod and stroke the major welt that formed on the top of your head, wiping away some of the blood that oozed from the top. You really have got to stop getting clocked in the head or you're going to end up in a coma.

Your attention is diverted from the pain in your brain to the administer of the pap, the one who lead you down in the lab to begin with, the reason why you despise ever waking up on the horn pile a few... hours ago? You have absolutely no idea how long you been down here. Where ever, "here" is anyway.

"Wake up sleepy head!"

"WHAT IN THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? OH WAIT, I KNOW. YOU JUST DRAGGED ME DOWN TO THIS SHIT PIT AND BASICALLY RUINED WHAT LITTLE BIT OF SANITY I HAD LEFT. ALL DAY I'VE BEEN KNOCKED AROUND, BEATEN, FALLEN DOWN PLACES, AND I EVEN ALMOST DROWNED. YOU REALLY HAVE QUITE THE NERVE TO BE SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT THIS."

"Karkat! Why are you treating me like the villain here! I only saved you from drowning! I couldn't have possibly done anything wrong!"

"YEAH SURE, MISS 'HIT KARKAT WITH A FUCKING JET PACK'"

"Oh fiiiiiiiine, I been a bit of an asshole but that's what I'm here for. How else am I gonna keep you on your toes. Besides, don't look at me all sour, I wasn't the one who got us in this mess. Don't think I didn't smell you pull that valve earlier."

"WHAT, DO YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE IN THE DARK? YOU SEE, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCENT AND VISION IS THAT ONE REQUIRES SPECTRAL LIGHT TO WORK. MAYBE, AND I'M BEING HYPOTHETICAL HERE, MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T TURNED OFF ALL THE LIGHTS, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH FLOODING THE LAB. SPEAKING OF WHICH, THIS ISN'T EVEN THE LAB, WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS PLACE?"

You realize that the ground wasn't as wet because the ground dried up, but because you were laying on a slab of stone, presumably in a large, empty tomb. You look up to see Terezi leaning over you. Her shades are missing.

"That's why I was trying to wake you up. The tunnel we were in led straight to a lab with a sendificator in it and we fell on the platform. My shades flew off and hit the send button, sending us to a were ever we are now."

"WELL WHERE DID IT SEND US"

"I don't know, but before we got sent, I smelt the word, "Earth" on the coordinate screen. Do you have any idea where that could be?


	6. Part 2 -Chapter 1

No. No no no no no. This can NOT be happening. You could deal with Terezi, you could heal head wounds, you could even get over getting a little wet, but THIS. This was absolutely unacceptable. This was just supposed to be a quick little visit to the candy lab with Terezi, and to be frank you expected a lot of harassment from her anyway, but you were never supposed to end up off meteor! All of the non existent signs pointed to not this happening. It's as if the Earth tab on your husktop was just an omen to this sequence if events.

Wait a minute. It might actually have been. With all this future premonition shit going on around the settings of the medium, it should have been a big red flag to see a mysterious Internet tab suddenly, and forcibly, teach you of an alien world that you've never heard of before. After all this time you would think someone would start picking up on shit like this. It's like something, someone, wants you to just do things, even though the radical consequences are so obvious, if not at least chronological in some format. Like, a book almost. Maybe-

 **= STOP THINKING**

...

 **= LOOK AROUND**

With the sudden urge to follow orders again, you examine the layout of your new, and permanent, extra-meteoric home.

The room looks very dry, in fact it looks quite sandy, like it hasn't been touched in centuries. The only sign of change appears to be the now muddy floor beneath you from the extra water sendificated. The room has no external portals so it's lit by means of powerful, incandescent lighting by wires running along the roof of the room, suspended by small, metal staples. Chiseled into the roof, and really any flat surface at all, you notice many inscriptions and glyphs of a foreign nature. The room is empty save for you, Terezi, and the muddy stone slab that must have been the opposite end of the sendificator.

Circling the slab are panels of an equally deteriorated state that bear the equipment needed for sendification, but an added feature shows what looks to be a fuel gauge that is clearly empty. It appears that sendificating an object between universes must have drained this power source significantly. If you ever want to go back home, you're gonna need some more fuel.

One of the panels, however, is smudged and dotted with fingerprints. The prints do not have any dust collected in the little basins they've formed in the grime around them, meaning that they must have been recent enough that whoever made them might still be around, but where they are now is off the table because it could have been several hours or even days since they strayed away, so looking for them would be futile. The coordinates show a pumpkin, of all things, that someone must have attempted to take. But before it could've been appearified, you crashed into the room and sendificated yourself instead. Perhaps this is why the person fled before you could find them, not having expected you in the first place.

 **= FORM ESCAPE PLAN**

Suspecting now that they could just as easily still be here, you decide it's best to take note of what to do next.

That is to say you're going to continue to rave inwardly about how much you hate this place with a varying palette of colorful language, painting a happy picture with said oil- based explicit painting apparatus, of your unbridled anger at Terezi for dragging you down to the labs just to fuck with you and just as well towards yourself for even getting involved in the first place. It's safe to say that you've got about just as much planing done as the amount if happy thoughts coursing through your plagued think pan. That is to say, absolutely none.

 **= QUIT WHINING**

The sassy voice in your head that you've nicknamed your conscience decided that you're being a conservative little bitch about the entire situation. Maybe this isn't such a bad turn out, you at least know something about this piece of rock you're on. With some determination, you might even make it off this planet, given all you're going to need is a little uranium. Is that so hard?

 **= TALK TO TEREZI**

You've decided that keeping your thoughts to yourself isn't going to be very productive so you try to consult Terezi on the matter.

"SO UH, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW. TO YOU IT MAY NOT BE SO OBVIOUS, BUT I HAPPEN TO KNOW A BIT ABOUT EARTH AND I'LL TELL YOU THAT WE'RE NO WHERE NEAR THE PLANE OF EXISTENCE WE WERE JUST ON, LET ALONE THE METEOR. I SUGGEST LOOKING FOR WHOEVER WAS HERE EARLIER AND ASKING THEM FOR SOME URANIUM, THAT IS IF THEY HAVE ANY.

ACTUALLY, IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT URANIUM IS PRETTY OBSCURE ON EARTH TO THE COMMON FOLK SO IT'S VERY UNLIKELY THAT THEY WOULD HAVE ANY FOR US. THAT MAY BE AN ISSUE."

"Well if that's the case then who stocked the sendificator in the first place? There has to be a decent amount somewhere around here. Wait a second, how did you know if someone was here?"

"I SAW FINGER PRINTS ON THE PANELS OVER THERE, THEY MOVED SOME DUST AROUND WHEN THEY TRIED TO USE IT EARLIER. THEY ALSO DREW A BIG SMILE FACE EMOTICON OUT OF THE DUST OVER THE PUMPKIN ON SCREEN."

"That stuck out enough for you to make that kind of deduction? And here I thought I was the detective prodigy... You'd be really good at my role plays, you know, but you always decline! :]"

"YOU AND YOUR ROLE PLAYING, I SWEAR. LIKE I'D EVER STOOP SO LOW AND GO NEAR THOSE TECHNICOLOR DRAGON PUNCHING BAGS OF YOURS."

"Fuck you, I have great taste in role play equipment."

"WHATEVER. JUST CONSIDER IT A 'NO' FROM ME."

"Alright fine, but that topic aside, where do you think we even are. I mean, I know we're on Earth but is the entire planet just covering dusty old tombs or what? Supposedly, you're the expert on this situation so give me a reason to believe that."

"WELL TO COUNTER THE TOMB IDEA, I CAN SAY THAT THIS TYPE OF THING IS NOR NORMAL, AND BY THE LOOKS OF IT, THIS TOMB ITSELF LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN THOSE COMMONLY FOUND ON EARTH. IF I CAN SAY ANYTHING ON THE MATTER, IT IS THAT I KNOW NOTHING."

"Well if that was anything but helpful."

"I DO KNOW, HOWEVER, THAT THE EQUIPMENT AROUND US THAT WE ARE USED TO IN THE MEDIUM IS MUCH TOO ADVANCED FOR THE EARTH I READ UP ON, THE WORD APPEARIFY ISN'T EVEN IN THE HUMAN VOCABULARY. THE LOCALS MIGHT SAY IT WAS SOME DUMB GIBBERISH MADE MY A LUNATIC.

I THINK OUR BEST BET IS TO FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE. WE REALLY CAN'T DO ANYTHING IF WE'RE STUCK IN THIS TOMB."

"'A" plus thinking! Now let's stop messing around and go spelunking."

"BUT WE WEREN'T MESSING AROUND, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WE WERE JUST, TALKING FOR ONCE. YOU'RE SO OVER CRITICAL."

"You really are just too sensitive for this, are you. And for your information, it was more of a figure of speech i used to lighten the mood and keep us from going shit hive maggots while stranded here."

"WOW, NOW THAT YOU PUT IT THAT WAY OUR SITUATION DOES SOUND A BIT MORE GRIM GIVEN THE OUR CURRENT METHOD OF ESCAPE IS CURRENTLY FRUITLESS UNTIL WE FIND URANIUM. WAIT A SECOND, WHAT ARE WE GONNA EAT. WHERE ARE WE GONNA GET WATER. WE HAVE NO MEANS OF SURVIVAL IN THIS UNINHABITABLE WASTELAND. WE'RE GOING TO DIE ON THIS PLANET! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN CONSIDERED MEETING UP WITH YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND NOW WE'RE GONNA PAY FOR IT!

"And this was the kind of hysterical pessimism I was trying to avoid."


End file.
